I'll Never Throw A Birthday Party Again

I'm about to share probably a very unpopular opinion, but here goes. I hate birthday parties. Don't get me wrong, I love coming to YOUR birthday. I love celebrating you. But for me and my kids, I just can't do it. We've done a variety of different birthday parties for Bo in the past- a typical 1st Birthday party with family, a 2nd Birthday Party at MyGym with all sorts of friends and family, and then a 3rd Birthday party bowling. When it came to this year, Bo talked about going to Chuck E Cheese with a long list of friends for months before his birthday. To be honest, this sounds like my nightmare. I love all of Bo's friends and their parents. But I cannot manage or enjoy myself while at my children's birthday parties. And maybe this is a little selfish, but I want to have fun with my kid. I don't want to be running around and cleaning up the whole two hours. Other moms can be a hostess and throw a kids' party. I cannot.  There is a special kind of mom that loves throwing birthday parties. It is not me. I love my friends that can. I will be your Birthday Party wing person- cutting cake or passing out pizza.

So instead of throwing a birthday party, we're going to do experiences. This year, we chose to go to a water park in Lake Geneva. We rounded up some friends that were available and headed north. I brought some decorations that I quickly made with leftover teacher supplies. (Only handmade because I realized that Bo would want some sort of pomp and circumstance and I was too late to go buy something) We swam and ate and swam some more. It was a beautiful and memorable time.


Did Bo tell me that he wishes we went to Chuck E Cheese? He did not. Not one word  I put my head down on Saturday night and I was happy. I wasn't tired or emotionally drained or felt like I missed out on the whole party. Honestly, I almost threw him the Chuck E Cheese party of his dreams. It would have been great. I promise you that. He would have loved it and talked about it for future weeks. And maybe he'll have one next year. But here's what I do know about this Birthday Experiences.

1. Everyone got to participate. Literally every member of our family had a seriously good time. I think Elliott had the best time of all. Bobby and I both got to go down a million water slides and also have time to have fun with our friends. That's a win if I've ever heard it.

2. Pressure was taken off of that 2 hours. I don't know about you all, but when I've had birthday parties we've had to have everything scheduled- when to do cake, when do activities, when to do cake. Sometimes we've felt like we're at a birthday factory. Since we were there for 2 days, everyone was able to do what they wanted. Want to take a nap- Do it. Hungry for a snack- Let's Get Your One. We didn't even sing Happy Birthday because Bo didn't ask for it.

3. It was less money. Okay, here me out. If you plan all of this out ahead of time, you can get a great hotel deal or water park deal. Right now, Great Wolf Lodge is running deals for $99. When was the last time you threw a birthday party for $99? Buy some dinner and booze for your friends that come with you. Nobody expected a goody bag or a cupcake or anything extra. Less S for you to bring home.

Here are some ideas for Birthday Experiences instead of Birthday Parties

• Super Fun Birthday Dinner (I'm talking Rain Forest Cafe or American Girl Doll)
• Movies with Small Group of Friends
• Overnight at a Hotel
• Lego Land
• Amusement Park
• Water Park 

But here's the deal with birthday parties. There is so much pressure and expectations to do them. I'm here to tell you to do you. If you want the party, do it. If you don't want the party, do that too. You have to do what is best for you and your kids and your checkbook. Nobody wants you to do something that doesn't make you happy. Even your kids. Bo really wanted that Chuck E Cheese Party, I knew I couldn't handle it, so I didn't do it. He hasn't said one word since. We put so much pressure on ourselves about to throw the perfect party that will be the most memorable day. I'm here to tell you to take the pressure off. You and your kids deserve to have a happy mom rather than some shell of a person. So next time, you feel the need to throw a birthday party, remind yourself that you can say no. If you need an extra reminder, call me and I will pour you a glass of wine. 

The Pre-Thanksgiving Blues

It's almost a week from Thanksgiving and I've already cried twice thinking about this holiday. But why? Thanksgiving is my absolutely favorite holiday. My family does it up big with a multiple day affair. We play games, watch movies, go bowling, and visit our family farm. I make an Thanksgiving Sandwich that beats any opponent.  It's my ultimate perfection. But, I've still cried. I have a million what if situations running through my head, I'm already exhausted thinking about wrangling my kids, and full from eating too many starchy sides.

I'm worried about my kids running crazy around my parents' house. I'm worried about being ragged cooking and watching kids and socializing with my family. I'm worried that my super sensitive feelings will get hurt by an off-handed comment. I'm worried that our Thanksgiving is going to rival a Family Stone Christmas or This is Where We Leave You Shiva. I'm worried about it all. But here's the thing, little of this has actually happened. However, I've convinced myself that it's all going to go crazy next week. Because I need, no want, to be my very best next week when I'm with my family eating my seriously favorite foods, I'm prepping this week. Here's what I'm doing:

Write a Worry List
If you've known me long enough, you know that a list is one of my best friends. This time my list is going to be a list of all the things I'm worried about. Let me tell you my list is very long because I've written literally every thought that has passed through my brain- Elliott gets my Grandmas sick, nobody likes my new version of Green Bean Casserole, we can't get anyone to watch our dog, traffic leaving the city is horrendous. Write it all down. My list is written, but I think I'm going to take one more step- I'm going to circle the worries that could actually happen so that I can make a plan about how to react JIC.

Do A Little Each Day
There are certain tasks that I know need to happen in order to be ready to leave for next week. I'm going to start doing a little each day to make sure that it's not all looming on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I've pulled a couple of shirts that I know that I want the kids to wear, I'll fill up on gas on Monday during my errands, and I've put my crock pot in the car. If I'm doing a little each day, I won't feel like I'm the only one working to leave the house on Wednesday. (Anyone else have this feeling!?)

Find Time For You
I need to take time for myself. If I don't, I lose my mind. While at home, I have mornings and naps to take time for myself, but when you're away those times don't always happen the way that you need. This time, I'm going to be extra focused on making sure I have 30 minutes to read my book and time to take a walk. I just need to be more vocal about saying what I need. During holidays, I get super plugged into what everyone else needs. Chop an onion- I'm your girl. Run to the store- You've got it. Fold this random laundry- You don't have to ask me twice. This year, I'm going to be more intentional about saying "Yes, after I....". I encourage you to do the same. I'm going to check on you and I hope that you check on me too. Also, please take your shower the night before and have a super cute outfit. You know how much I believe in "If You Feel Good, You Do Good".

Say Whatever
You guys, my mom taught my Grandpa to say Whatever about ten years ago and I'm going to be honest, I think it changed his life. I'm going to say and think whatever a lot more next week. Do you really care what your dad's second cousin's son really thinks about how much screen time your kids have? (In case you're trying to figure out who this is in my family- this person is made up. Does not exist) Or does it matter if your Great Aunt thinks that your should take more vitamins, eat less salt or use more moisturizer? People are going to say a lot of things to you this weekend. We need to assume the best with all of these things or at least more politely walk away and say WHATEVER. It's 100% your choice what to do with the things that your family says to you.  What people say to you is about them and not you. Put their comments in your WHATEVER category have a glass of wine and go love on your kids.


Here's the deal. Families and holidays are great, but you need to do what is best for you. Do things that you know make you ridiculously happy and leave all the other stuff aside. You don't need to be stuck in a conversation with someone that makes you feel rotten. You don't need to say yes to everything. You don't need to eat or drink something that you know makes you feel crummy. Take care of yourself and your people. Have clear expectations for what you want to have happen and follow them. When you feel yourself reaching for the wine drink a little water. And conveniently need to do something in a different room when you don't want to be involved in the conversation.

Have a wonderfully happy and relaxing Thanksgiving. I hope you find yourself surrounded by amazing family and friends with a plate full of food.

Meal Planning: November 18

It's the week before Thanksgiving, so that means a ton of cooking and eating next week. To help myself out, I'm pulling things out of the freezer or letting my crock pot do a lot of the cooking. We're hosting a Friendsgiving on Sunday and my in-laws are in town, so we have a lot going on. Because of that, I'm trying to take it easy on myself and help minimize dinner fights. We're also leaving early in the week next week, so I made plans for Tuesday and Sunday night dinners for the following week. Future Kate, you're welcome. I already know I'm not going to want to think about food next weekend. 

Every time, we have left overs I've been making a single serving lunch for Bobby and then putting the rest in the freezer. I've been putting leftovers in a muffin tins so I have quick individual services. You can literally do it with any food. In our freezer right now, I have pucks of mac and cheese, rice, spaghetti, and a variety of soups. It's perfect for those nights that you have to feed people, but you're not hungry or interested. 

			Grocery List
Monday	Find it in the Freezer	Enchilada Quinoa Bake (pull out in the morning and put in crock pot with extra enchilada sauce)	Avocado Enchilada Sauce
Tuesday	Sheet Pan	Beef and Peapod Stir Fry Using this recipe as a guide	Beef Peapod Hoisin Sauce Rice Noodles
Wednesday	Soup/Sandwich	Creamy Chicken Noodle Soup	Carrots Onions Celery Chicken  Cream of Chicken Soup Frozen Egg Noodles
Thursday	Find it in the Freezer	Breaded Chicken and TJs Frozen Side	Salad
Friday	Quick and Easy  (Make your own Nachos or Pizza)	Taco Stuffed Sweet Potatoes	Sweet Potatoes Ground Beef Taco Toppings
Saturday	Take Out	Momma Needs A Break
Sunday		Crockpot Chicken and Stuffing Crockpot Green Bean Casserole (sub mushroom soup for celery soup)	Cream of Chicken Soup Chicken Stuffing Green Beans Mushroom Soup Fried Onions
Monday	Dinner Out?	Amy in town!
Tuesday	Salad/Bowl Situation	Salmon Salad (My attempt at being healthy right before Thanksgiving!)	Salmon Salad Feta  Cucumbers Olives Tomatoes
Wednesday	Out of town
Thursday	Out of town
Friday	Out of town
Saturday	Out of town
Sunday	Instant Pot	Chicken Pad Thai	Chicken  Pad Thai Sauce Frozen Peppers Rice Noodles

Meal Planning: November 11

It's our Bo-Bo's birthday this week. We're so excited to celebrate him this week. This week already has a lot of gratitude going into it. It just feels so special that so many people recognize how cool he really is. 3 is a tough age and the fact that we have so many people still along for the ride with this kid brings tears to my eyes.

It's super snowy already this morning and my fridge is full of delicious things already. I'm keeping our shopping list short so I can get in and out. Also, no waste!

			Grocery List
Monday	Sheet Pan Dinner	Chicken Sausage Cauliflower Tot Casserole  Peas (After many days away, no one wanted to wait for dinner last night! Moved it to today!)	Peas
Tuesday	Quick and Easy	Make Your Own Pizza	Focaccia Marinara Sauce Moz Cheese Salad
Wednesday	Salad/Bowl Situation	Fish Tacos	Salsa Sour Cream
Thursday	Find it in the Freezer	Chicken Pot Pie	Salad
Friday	Dinner Out	Bo’s Birthday!!!
Saturday	Take Out	Costco Pre-Made Dinners (We’re at a water park, celebrating Bo’s birthday!)	Costco Dinner of Bo’s Choice (I’m so fancy!)
Sunday	Find it in the Freezer	Soup (I freeze my soup in muffin tins, so on Sundays everyone gets their own choice of what they want to eat!)

Favorite Etsy Gifts

Hey yo. Just thought as an Etsy seller and frequent buyer, I would share some of my favorite Etsy shops and items to buy for the holidays. As I went to write this post, I saved gifts in my bookmarks. As I clicked on each new gift, I verbally said "Oh yeah, this is a good one!" FOR EACH GIFT! Truly, these are really special gifts that the recipient will treasure for a long time. Also, you are supporting small businesses that you will honestly make their day by buying. Bookmark this post, because I'll continue to update as I buy my gifts :)

Framed Sheet Music by Noteworthy Creative

You guys, I gave this to my dad for Father's Day and it is one of my all time favorite gifts. All you have to do is choose a song and they will find the sheet music and frame it. It is an incredibly simple but meaningful present. There are a variety of sizes and framing options. A definite must have.






Personalized Illustrations by Allison Penuel

This is my number one favorite gift to give moms, grandmas, friends that have everything, people who move into new houses, everyone. All you have to do is send Alli a picture of your kids (they don't even have to be in the same picture) and she turn it into a special little drawing. Here are the drawings we gave our parents a couple of years ago. Seriously the most special things ever. Also, she sends you a digital copy for the background of your phone. Honestly, one of the best gifts ever. Each time I buy one for someone else, I secretly hope that my own is sitting under the tree (hint hint, Bobby)




 Hand Drawn City Posters by Signet Sealed

These are absolutely perfect for someone who has moved around or has a new apartment with wall space to fill with their favorite places. The variety of places are almost unlimited. Seriously a treasure for anyone that loves their college town, vacationing spot, or a dream location. I got these for my mom a couple of years ago of the locations of each place we were born and it's been so fun to look at them.

Thriving Thursday

Here are 5 things that make me feel like a total rock star this week.

1. I just restructured my day and I am loving it. I used to put a lot of work in the morning, but now that Elliott is not sleeping in the morning it's almost impossible. I think about all of the things that I can do off of my computer. Then, I do all of my computer work during nap and after bedtime. Still accomplishing what I need to, but in a different way. Now, I know that my situation is a lot different than my friends and all of you. But what I am encouraging you to do is to think about your daily calendar. How can you support yourself to be the most productive? Can you put all of your phone calls in the afternoon? Can you do super small quick checks while you are drinking your coffee? I do my best work in the morning, so I've put all of the brainless skills in the afternoon so I can reward myself with a little Call the Midwife. 

2. I used to listen/watch all of my Instagram stories while I made dinner. I've now stopped. Here's why- I only had them on so that I had something to listen to while I was chopping and getting dinner ready. I'm now listening to an audio book at this time. I'm trying to bring less into my life. Instagram was bringing more ideas and judgement of myself. I'm hoping that audio books give me a chance to be more supportive of the ideas that I need right now. 

3. Reading #IMOMSOHARD. It's a hilarious read about the mom life. I totally recommend!

4. Emily Ley once wrote somewhere- "if you know it takes less than 2 minutes, do it now". This goes through my head every time I want to throw my clothes on my closet floor. I can't tell you how much this has helped me this week as I prep for multiple days away. Do it now. 

5. I've recently put different friends that I want to text in my planner. If you've gotten a random text from me lately, that's probably why. Put your friends in your planner. Send them a quick text saying I love you. Mean it. 

Traveling without Kids

Bobby and I are going to a wedding this weekend. In Florida. Without Kids. I don't know about you but during the holidays I feel like I see and talk to everyone but Bobby. Once Thanksgiving or Christmas is over, I feel like I have reintroduce myself to him. So I'm very excited to spend a couple of days with him before the craziness.

My parents are watching our kids. They raised three amazing kids and they don't need much help. But I thought I'd share a couple of things that I am doing to make sure that they have the best time possible.



1. Labeling medicine containers with Bo and Elliott's dosages. Neither of our kids are sick, but it's always good to send a little medicine in case. By writing the dosage on the side, no one has to think about anything.

2. I'm packing in packing cubes. This way all of Bo's clothes stay with him and Elliott's clothes stay with her. I also folded outfits so that it was a set. Again, no thinking here.

3. I have a Quick One Pager about our kids. That says about sleeping, eating, etc. Obviously my parents aren't going to follow this word for word and I don't expect them too. But it takes a little pressure off the situation when you have everything you need for a three year old bedtime routine.

4. We're meeting half way in Indiana so instead of taking all of the necessary items out of one car and putting it in the other, we're just swapping cars. I don't know about you, but my car is like a big purse.  It has everything I could ever want and I'm happy to not have to move it all over.

5. Reminding myself that my kids are going to have the best time in the entire world, it doesn't matter what they eat, watch, play with, or use as a calming strategy they are going to have so much fun. The same goes for me. I'm going eat, watch, and do all things that I don't normally get to do and I'm going to have to transition back into normal life on Sunday.

Prepping for December

A year ago, I remember sitting in a new mom's class crying. With raging mom guilt, I said through my sobs "I'm just trying to survive December." December is one of Bobby's months that he has the most work commitments- Big Ten Champions, Conferences, and Bowl Games- all falling on the weekend.  I had this new baby and a three year old that was getting to understand Christmas and I was all by myself. I wanted to make all these special traditions from the very beginning. I put a lot of pressure on myself to make it absolutely perfect.

But as I got closer to December, things kept creeping up on me- Bo's school holiday party, gifts for Grandparents, Christmas card pictures. These things were the must haves on my list. So I worked tirelessly to scroll my albums looking for pictures and thinking of the perfect gifts. To say that things dropped to the side is an understatement. I can now thankfully laugh about this- but I was set on getting Bo's teachers some Christmas gift from Trader Joe's that I had seen on Instagram. I was going to pick it up during my weekly shopping trip. I forgot that the California stores get much more than the Chicago stores. So of course when I got there, the gift was no where to be found. Hastily, I grabbed three bottles of wine and called it a day. Long story short, I gave his underage, pregnant teachers bottles of wine for their presents. This still gets brought up almost weekly.

So here's what I'm trying to say. This year I'm not letting myself have this daunting checklist. I'm not letting myself get stressed about what people think about my card or presents or lights. Since Northwestern is not having a great season- Bobby isn't traveling for Big Ten or Bowl Games. And I'm jumping at this opportunity to have our family together this December. I made my list of all that the things that I'd like to happen in December. I'm already assuming some of these things won't get done and I'm okay with that. But I think the list has helped me think of all of the things that stress me out the days before.

When I was in college, we used Day Light Savings to do one thing that we have never done before. On Sunday, I used Day Light Savings as an extra hour to help myself out. By the time, nap time hit I was exhausted. I was ready to lay on the couch and scroll Instagram. This DST, I did scroll pictures but they were pictures of my own kids. Each year, I'm frantically looking for my favorite pictures from the year to create a book for our parents. The end product is lovely, but the process typically terrible. But not this year, I needed to do something brainless on Sunday and I used this time to do something productive and therapeutic. And here I am to say, our books are very close to being finished.

So here are somethings that I am doing to make this year better for me.

1. Grace. I'm created my list this weekend. Next weekend, I'm going to cross three things off of the list that someone else has told me is important. On my to-do list, I have wrap Christmas books. I'm pretty sure that is coming off of the list. Our kids forgot last year and just loved reading books.

2. Reality. I wrote a quick paragraph about what I hope my kids say about their Christmases and holidays when someone asks them in the future. These are my number one priorities. Like are my kids going to worry about the perfect Christmas picture or remember playing with their cousins around the fireplace. This picture made me cry a lot last year. I'm not letting that happen this year.

3. Take Care of Myself. I cried a lot last year. I was worried about family pictures and what I would wear and showing up as this person that could do it all. This seems selfish, but I'm going to say it. I feel like a million dollars when I look the way I want. I am already looking for my Christmas outfit, so that I show up the way I need to. My kids are going to look cute no matter what they wear, this year I need to take care of myself.


4. Saying No. There are a million holiday celebrations in the city. I am taking myself off the calendar unless it is a huge HELL YES for me.

Remember, your kids catch onto the feel and your emotions. You could be in a truck stop with a smile  on your face and they would think it is the best holiday ever. I never want my kids to say that I ran around stressed out and crying every Christmas.

This year, I'm stepping back and having more cups of hot chocolate, more Christmas books and driving through the Christmas lights. I'm also planning ahead a lot more. A little each week will help me make sure that I can be in the moment for all of those small memories.