It's almost a week from Thanksgiving and I've already cried twice thinking about this holiday. But why? Thanksgiving is my absolutely favorite holiday. My family does it up big with a multiple day affair. We play games, watch movies, go bowling, and visit our family farm. I make an Thanksgiving Sandwich that beats any opponent. It's my ultimate perfection. But, I've still cried. I have a million what if situations running through my head, I'm already exhausted thinking about wrangling my kids, and full from eating too many starchy sides.
I'm worried about my kids running crazy around my parents' house. I'm worried about being ragged cooking and watching kids and socializing with my family. I'm worried that my super sensitive feelings will get hurt by an off-handed comment. I'm worried that our Thanksgiving is going to rival a Family Stone Christmas or This is Where We Leave You Shiva. I'm worried about it all. But here's the thing, little of this has actually happened. However, I've convinced myself that it's all going to go crazy next week. Because I need, no want, to be my very best next week when I'm with my family eating my seriously favorite foods, I'm prepping this week. Here's what I'm doing:
Write a Worry List
If you've known me long enough, you know that a list is one of my best friends. This time my list is going to be a list of all the things I'm worried about. Let me tell you my list is very long because I've written literally every thought that has passed through my brain- Elliott gets my Grandmas sick, nobody likes my new version of Green Bean Casserole, we can't get anyone to watch our dog, traffic leaving the city is horrendous. Write it all down. My list is written, but I think I'm going to take one more step- I'm going to circle the worries that could actually happen so that I can make a plan about how to react JIC.
Do A Little Each Day
There are certain tasks that I know need to happen in order to be ready to leave for next week. I'm going to start doing a little each day to make sure that it's not all looming on Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. I've pulled a couple of shirts that I know that I want the kids to wear, I'll fill up on gas on Monday during my errands, and I've put my crock pot in the car. If I'm doing a little each day, I won't feel like I'm the only one working to leave the house on Wednesday. (Anyone else have this feeling!?)
Find Time For You
I need to take time for myself. If I don't, I lose my mind. While at home, I have mornings and naps to take time for myself, but when you're away those times don't always happen the way that you need. This time, I'm going to be extra focused on making sure I have 30 minutes to read my book and time to take a walk. I just need to be more vocal about saying what I need. During holidays, I get super plugged into what everyone else needs. Chop an onion- I'm your girl. Run to the store- You've got it. Fold this random laundry- You don't have to ask me twice. This year, I'm going to be more intentional about saying "Yes, after I....". I encourage you to do the same. I'm going to check on you and I hope that you check on me too. Also, please take your shower the night before and have a super cute outfit. You know how much I believe in "If You Feel Good, You Do Good".
Say Whatever
You guys, my mom taught my Grandpa to say Whatever about ten years ago and I'm going to be honest, I think it changed his life. I'm going to say and think whatever a lot more next week. Do you really care what your dad's second cousin's son really thinks about how much screen time your kids have? (In case you're trying to figure out who this is in my family- this person is made up. Does not exist) Or does it matter if your Great Aunt thinks that your should take more vitamins, eat less salt or use more moisturizer? People are going to say a lot of things to you this weekend. We need to assume the best with all of these things or at least more politely walk away and say WHATEVER. It's 100% your choice what to do with the things that your family says to you. What people say to you is about them and not you. Put their comments in your WHATEVER category have a glass of wine and go love on your kids.
Here's the deal. Families and holidays are great, but you need to do what is best for you. Do things that you know make you ridiculously happy and leave all the other stuff aside. You don't need to be stuck in a conversation with someone that makes you feel rotten. You don't need to say yes to everything. You don't need to eat or drink something that you know makes you feel crummy. Take care of yourself and your people. Have clear expectations for what you want to have happen and follow them. When you feel yourself reaching for the wine drink a little water. And conveniently need to do something in a different room when you don't want to be involved in the conversation.
Have a wonderfully happy and relaxing Thanksgiving. I hope you find yourself surrounded by amazing family and friends with a plate full of food.
Bobby's been at a conference for the last couple of days. My kids have honestly been as good as gold. It's been really a lovely experience just being able to spend sometime with them by myself before we enter the holiday season when I have to share them with everyone.
