Oh Hey.

Oh hey. I took a little break from the blog for the last couple of weeks. It's been so busy that I had to just sort myself out and figure out what the heck I was doing. Here's a little recap of the last four weeks (!!!!). If you need the Too Long, Didn't Read list- scroll down to the bottom. No judgement here. Also, I included these pictures of our kids because they finally learned how to smile on cue.

Weeks One and Two were terribly hard. My kids cried. I cried. Riggins cried. It was so tough to figure out a system that worked for all of us. At first, I clung to what I knew my kids and I thrived on the most- routine. You guys. I over scheduled myself and my kids. If the schedule wasn't followed exactly to my plan, I would lose it.  It was terrible. I was also stressing out about making sure that Bo was still learning and academically stimulated. Let's just say, he never will, and never should be, a student in my class. Each night, I sat down at exhausted- emotionally and physically. My body ached and my heart ached even more. I also started to notice how much Bo was starting to regress in Week 2. It was honestly freaking me out. He no longer could put on his clothes or pick up toys or feed himself. I was so worried about what another month would do to my child.

In Week Three, I let go of a lot. We still had the routine and talked about the schedule. If Bo wanted to do Circle Time, we would do it otherwise we'd skip it that day. Sometimes Bo wanted to be the teacher and show Elliott how to do Circle Time while other times they just wanted to play (or lets be honest, argue about toys). I also listened to my kids a lot more. Bo started sharing ideas about how to practice numbers and letters so we started to do more of his ideas. But I also gave myself grace and asked for time when I needed it. I was also a lot more honest with Bobby about what I needed and how I was feeling. I missed a lot of my Secret Single Behaviors (SATC, anyone?) that I could do without judgement when I was at home by myself. I also started writing more pieces of gratitude each day because I needed to remind myself that so many good things were happening. Bobby and I also started a minute of complaining about frivolous things that we're just really annoyed about. I think one day, I said not being able to drink a LeCroix without someone else drinking it. This addition was really helpful for this week because I was feeling a lot of guilt for feeling selfish that I was upset about having to miss out on things that I liked while other people were seriously helping humanity.

Last week was Week Number Four. It was my Spring Break and we took the break. The weather was beautiful so we played outside. We also split up the kids more often. Bobby would take one and I would take the other. We all needed a break from each other. We started dinner earlier and went to bed earlier too. Bobby and I also had a super fancy date night from Alinea. I also remembered how good working out makes me feel so I downloaded the Peloton app and did some yoga classes. I also cleaned. Am I the only that cleaning makes me feel so good? (Bo has recently learned that an organized fridge equals a happy mama). I really took care of myself. Something that I really needed to do.

We're now in Week 5. I have a Clear Heart and Full Eyes and a Can't Lose attitude. I'm hoping to continue that structured unstructured routine that we have each day. Less screaming, less guilt about using tech, and more grace and love. We're all just trying our best each day.

Here's the TLDR version of what is going well in our house right now: 

-Feel the vibe for the day. Just because it's on the schedule doesn't mean that it is the best thing for your kids and family.

-Take a moment to breath. 30 minutes by yourself can be a game changer. Embrace those SSBs that you've been missing out on.

-Get Outside. Whenever I am losing my mind, Bobby always suggests a walk. This always helps reset our family when things get tough.

-Drink water. I read somewhere on Instagram "If you feel like you hate everyone, it means you need to drink water". I don't know the exactly science behind this, but it really does help me. I think the colder the better.

-Give yourself a second to wallow. Fun events are being canceled and you're missing your friends. You are allowed to feel upset. Say it out loud and you'll feel better.

-Do things that make you happy. I absolutely LOVE clean sheets. I've now started washing our sheets on Saturdays because I can crawl into bed that night and be so happy.